The last week of March 2014 was a busy one for conspiracy theories about Jews and Zionists, with the Illuminati thrown in for good measure. It may be April Fools day and these people may be fools, but none of this is particularly amusing. Here is a quick round up:

The Malaysian Airliner Rothschild Conspiracy

The Australian website of International Business Times and the Spanish website of Russia Today were two (apparently) non-lunatic media outlets that reported the claim that Jacob Rothschild was somehow involved with the tragic disappearance of Malaysian Airlines flight MH370.

The International Business Times (29 March) headline explains it:

Disappearance of Boeing 777 Made Illuminati Member Jacob Rothschild Sole Owner of Major Semiconductor Patent

The Russia Today (22 March) site joined the Jewish money dots:

The Rothschilds are a dynasty of financiers and international bankers of German-Jewish origin. The family is from the nineteenth century one of the most influential families of bankers and financiers of Europe.”

The Ukrainian neo-Nazi Antisemites and Zionists Conspiracy

George Galloway, on Iranian broadcaster Press TV (published 28 March) asked a viewer if Zionists are supporting antisemitic Ukrainian neo-Nazis in order to get Ukrainian Jews to flee to Israel. (Here on youtube from 35secs):

...Is this one of the reasons why the Zionists sent gunmen to the Maidan [Independence Square] in Kiev, to help a revolution...the cutting edge of which, and the heavy-lifting of which, was being done by actually outright Nazi antisemites?

...The bizarre alliance in the Maidan is part of the thinking of this. Well if these Nazis come to power in Kiev, and they hate Jews so much, the remaining Ukrainian Jews will feel that they have to go and settle in Palestine.

This is an anti-Zionist conspiracy theory in claimed opposition to antisemitism. “The Zionists” sent the gunmen, helping the revolting Ukrainian Nazis to succeed. “The Zionists” are encouraging antisemitism against Ukrainian Jews.

Galloway described the collapse of the Soviet Union as “the biggest catastrophe of my life”, so he must be sorely pained that the USSR is no longer able to best Israel as a shelter for Jews fleeing antisemitism; and given the usual antisemitic filth carried on Press TV, perhaps we should thank him for this kind-of-original supposedly philosemitic interruption. (Only the setting is new. The ‘Zionists encourage antisemitism’ narrative is an old calumny.)

The BBC-Siemens Zionist Conspiracy

Moving from the global to the local, CST received undated cuttings from the newspaper Westminster News, telling readers that Zionists run the BBC. This is of course old hat, but the claim had a new twist. Apparently, it is all done via the technology company Siemens (which is German wouldn’t you know):

...not one word can be broadcast by the BBC unless it goes through the German Siemens company’s network systems. The Zionists who own Siemens control the BBC’s output, and have done for at least 10 years.

This article was written by David Noakes, who stood for the leadership of UKIP in 2006. See him here on youtube smugly explaining (at 4.48):

...At the top of the pyramid of power there are the Illuminati, incredibly rich families and at the top of those there are incredibly rich banking families

Westminster News also told its readers that 80% of Conservative MPs are members of Conservative Friends of Israel and “with the honourable exception of a recent Channel Four ‘Dispatches’ documentary”:

This fact is relentlessly hidden from the people of Britain by our bought and paid for Zionist and television companies...

This article was by its editor David Hetherington. According to the publisher’s website (Sketch News), Westminster News is distributed to “affluent AB1s” in Belgravia, Knightsbridge etc and seeks advertisers targeting this elite market. How this squares with its anti-Zionism (and anti-Illuminatism) is not explained.

The Jewish Lobby runs America Conspiracy

Less original than all of the above, but certainly more important and very widely believed.

On this occasion, spouted by former Israeli Gilad Atzmon and run by Iran’s Press TV (22 March), but not on the George Galloway show. In the context of two senators saying that American aid to Israel will “not wane” post-2017:

The message is very simple. This is just another proof that American life, American foreign policy, and definitely American budget is dominated by the Jewish lobby that serves primarily Jewish interests,” Atzmon said.

Interestingly, the Press TV headline did not refer to Atzmon’s “Jewish lobby”. Instead, it went for the “Israel lobby” option:

The Israel lobby in the United States is dominating the country’s foreign policy and finances, a political commentator says.

Did Press TV even realise that they made the switch? Was it an unconscious accident, or deliberate political correctness? Either way, it shows how all of these conspiracies can end up on the same page: literally and metaphorically.

“We must massacre Jews...and prevent them sowing corruption”, impose dhimmi humiliation upon them

Finally, In a Western setting, there is a tendency to relate such conspiracy tales, be they antisemitic or anti-Zionist, back to the notorious Protocols of the Elders of Zion, or (at the root of it all) the claim that Jews killed Jesus. Hamas (with its Muslim Brotherhood links) has a different tradition however, harshly expressed on its Al Aqsa TV channel. (This came earlier in March, on the 6th):

...begin by quoting what Allah said about them: "The worst of beasts in the sight of Allah are those who disbelieve. They are the ones with whom you made a covenant, but they break their covenant every time."

...What is the solution to this gang of people? The Al-Anfal chapter of the Koran provides us with the answer..."They are the ones with whom you made a covenant, but they break their covenant every time," Allah added: "If you gain mastery over them in a war, use them to disperse those who follow them that they may remember." This indicates that we must massacre them, in order to break them down and prevent them from sowing corruption in the world.

They are the ones who still spark the flame of war, but Allah has taken it upon Himself to extinguish it. ...We must restore them to the state of humiliation imposed upon them...dhimmi citizens. This status must be imposed upon them by war. They must pay the jizya security tax while they live in our midst...

However, in Palestine, where they are occupiers and invaders, they cannot have the status of dhimmis.